WEAPONS: Being Under the Spell of a Narcissistic Abuser

I know, I know. Aunt Gladys is supposed to be a witch in Zach Cregger’s new film, Weapons. But I have to say: What better example of a gaslighting narcissistic abuser could we possibly find? As well as the devastating effects when you’re caught in that horrible situation. Aunt Gladys will use and misuse anyone for her own benefit. She’s cruel, cagey, controlling, violent, and gets great pleasure out of what she does to her victims. And her victims? They show all the severe psychological reactions when undergoing such trauma. There’s numbness, catatonia (they’re frozen in place), depersonalization (they’re not themselves), terror, rage, and no choice but to go along with the abuse.

Her victims can’t protect themselves from Aunt Gladys’s terrifying threats and power. This latter is (particularly) visible in Alex, who is under Aunt Gladys’s “spell.” Justine is blamed and not believed. Helpers become collateral victims. And Alex holds a terrible secret. The kids in Alex’s class all disappear one night, “flying” out of their houses, arms spread, at 2:17 AM, as if in a trance. All the kids in Ms. Justine Gandy’s (Julia Garner) class. That is, all except Alex Lily (Cary Christopher). Their parents are traumatized. Of course. And, the parents’ fingers point to Justine Gandy. After all, the kids came from her class. What was she doing to them? And, poor Alex, he’s the only one left. No one knows (yet) that this tragedy happened after Aunt Gladys (Amy Madigan) arrived, and poor Alex must go home to her …

Aunt Gladys & Her Gaslighting  

Aunt Gladys enters the scene more visibly than during her nighttime stalking when she shows up at a meeting with Marcus Miller (Benedict Wong), the principal at Maybrook Elementary, instead of Alex Lily’s parents. She’s disheveled, has raging red hair, and pink-red lipstick smeared haphazardly over her lips, veering wildly outside of the outline of her mouth. If anyone’s a suspect, she fits the bill. Yet, she covers her tracks, telling Marcus that Alex’s parents are “under the weather,” and she’s “taking care of” him. You bet she is. She’s silencing him, holding him hostage, threatening him, and creating terror in Weapons to ensure he obeys her orders.

This is gaslighting “par excellence.” She lies and denies. Blames the victims. And, she isolates Alex from friends, his teacher, and those who want to help him. He’s hers to use. That’s part of her narcissism. Using anyone she pleases for her own aggrandizement and selfish purposes.

Aunt Gladys informs Alex: “I’m very sick” (she is psychologically troubled and manipulative). “I was hoping your parents would make me feel better.” Of course, they “failed.” That’s how abusers make you feel. It’s your fault. She commands Alex to get an object from every child in his class. That’s how she gets power over them and makes them disappear… into the Lily house.  

Why did the kids disappear? She “needed” them, so she wasn’t “weak and sick.” You see, narcissists, as big as they try to make themselves, feel really small, scared, and insecure. What a narcissistic abuser does to her “victims” is several things: she makes Alex feel like the faulty and small one, constantly doing something “wrong.” She makes others act out her violence.

And her threats? She ensures that Alex is too scared of her to tell anyone …

Alex Lily & His Terrible Secret

Alex Lily had wonderful, loving parents before his mother’s Aunt Gladys finagled her way into their home, claiming to be sick, with nowhere else to go. Alex’s mom “can’t refuse her,” her mother would have wanted her to help. So, here they are. Stuck. Wanting to say “No.” But they can’t. Guilt is how abusers get their power. Alex didn’t want her there. Probably, he felt guilty about that, too. Poor helpless Aunt Gladys. But she’s not. She takes over the house.  And everyone in it. Soon, she’s put Alex’s mom and dad into a trance. That’s what abusers do. They won’t let you have your own thoughts or feelings.

Now, Alex has no one to turn to. His parents sit still at the table. Aunt Gladys isn’t safe. She demands (that’s what abusers do): “Alex, sit. They’re just resting … I don’t want you to tell a living soul that your parents are resting or that I am here.” Abusers threaten you. You know you’re in danger of more abuse. Alex is in Weapons, of punishment. To warn him, she snaps her branch. Alex’s parents start poking themselves in the face with a fork. Abusers make you turn on yourself. Hate yourself. Hurt yourself, because you’re terrified to stand up to them. Abusers make you feel you’re always making the wrong move.

They feed off of control. Aunt Gladys zaps the life out of everyone to “make herself feel better.” Others feel helpless, weak, and to blame. Not her. Alex is so scared that he has to do her bidding. Ms. Gandy notices how quiet he’s been (before the kids disappear). She tells him he can talk to her about anything. He can’t.

Alex is terrified of going against Aunt Gladys. He has to keep her secret …

Justine: As Lost as the Lost Kids

Poor Alex. Justine tried to help him, and she wants to help him now, the only one left in her class. But when the kids disappear, she’s blamed and not believed. Poor Justine. This is likely an old story. Was she gaslit and abused as a child? With no power to defend herself? Probably. There are signs of trauma in her past: going over the “appropriate boundaries with her kids, like taking stranded kids home in her car. Drinking too much. Rebellion against authority. Having an affair with a married man to prove she’s the special one. Justine didn’t do anything to cause the kids to disappear from their homes at 2:17 AM. But no one believes her. She’s the target of the parents’ anger and grief. Yet, Justine is as helpless, confused, and distraught as they are.

Yes, this is likely a repeat of childhood trauma. No one listens to her. They call her a liar. She’s attacked. Justine drinks because that’s what she does to cope. Her “fuck you” attitude toward authority is how she gets some “power” she’s never really had over her pain. But despite these defensive behaviors, she cares about “her kids.” She’d never hurt them.

It’s horrible not to be believed. She gets no support from Marcus, her principal, in Weapons. He’s conflicted. Worried about the parents. About boundaries. Justine’s lack of them. He can’t listen. Tells her to stay away from Alex, the last thing Alex needs. Marcus says, “Think of Alex Lily, you can’t talk to him. Put him first.” Justine has a hard time staying away. Maybe, because she knows Alex needs help. But Alex is so scared, he runs from her anyway, alone to deal with his trauma.

Left Alone to Deal with Trauma

Justine, too, is alone to deal with what happened. She’s determined to find out, even though the doorbell rings, terrifying and threatening her. No one is there. That’s a relief at that moment. But “no one being there” has likely haunted her her whole life. Maybe that’s why she’s rebellious, drinks, and has an affair with the married cop, Paul (Alden Ehrenreich). No one has ever been there for her, and she doesn’t expect anyone to be. She’s in a terrible situation in Weapons, trying to be heard; ignored once more. Justine wants justice for herself, but she’s mainly focused on discovering what happened to the kids. No one else seems to be doing their job. Not the clumsy Paul. Not his police chief father-in-law (Toby Huss). Nobody seems to care.

This is an old story, I’m sure, for Justine Gandy. She’s as lost as the missing kids. It’s made her deeply care. She crosses “appropriate” boundaries as a teacher—giving stranded kids a ride home and the like—which makes her suspect to everyone. That’s sad. Because Justine sees what others don’t.

So, she goes on a private mission to search for the kids. Her search—and her pain for Alex Lily, who says “Leave me alone”—convinces her that something is terribly wrong at his house. She knocks on the door, wanting to reach out, but what she finds is disturbing. Looking through cracks in the property, shadows of the missing kids appear. Maybe she doesn’t see them clearly yet, but as she keeps returning, this house seems more and more suspicious. Newspapers cover the windows. Alex’s parents sit still, like statues, at the dining room table. What is going on at the Lily house? There’s trouble here. It doesn’t look good.

Fight for Power over the Abuser

At the first school meeting after their kids disappear, a grief counselor tells the parents, “Anger is an important part of grief.” But misdirected and confused rage doesn’t get anyone anywhere. Anger used for the purpose of fighting back against an abuser does. Yet, the parents want someone to blame, and that person is the kids’ teacher: “What was she doing in there?”

Archer Graff (Josh Brolin), father of the disappeared Matthew (Luke Speakman), doesn’t start as a “helper.” He’s an enraged parent who’s certain of Justine Gandy’s guilt. But he’s on his own mission to discover what happened to Matthew. Like any traumatized person, he has nightmares, can’t think straight, can’t work, is hypervigilant, and scared. His nightmare leads him to a clue: he sees a weapon inscribed 2:17, hovering over Alex Lily’s house. But he doesn’t know whose house it is. He, like Justine, confronts the lazy police and looks for his son. All alone. That is, until he and Justine collide at a gas station. Justine (the hated teacher) is in trouble. Marcus, crazed with rage, is trying to kill her.

This is the violent fury we see often in Weapons. (Under the spell of an abuser, Aunt Gladys, rage is common. Often misguided. Intense.) Justine needs his help. And, Archer (unknowingly yet) needs hers.

Justine and Archer team up to unravel the mystery of the children’s vanishing. Their frantic search faces them with danger, more violence, and deranged people; finally leading them to Alex’s house. It’s a fight against time and loss, with a determination to find the missing kids. It also means facing their own traumas. Justine’s past. And, Archer’s guilt about not telling Matthew how much he loves him. They both muster up as much courage as they can, in Weapons.

The Lasting Effects of Narcissistic Abuse

Willpower is what it takes to stand up to an abuser, and to old, unfaced traumas.

Justine and Archer prevail. Against attempts to kill them by crazed, zombie-like traumatized people under the spell of the abuser-witch, Aunt Gladys. Zombie behavior is what happens to traumatized people. And, these in Weapons, don’t have any idea what they are doing in their blind rage. It’s ugly. And there are many casualties as a result of Aunt Gladys’s abusive reign.

Her control, threats, and gaslighting finally end when she dies at Alex’s hands. He turns the tables and uses her “magic” against her. Alex, angry and scared at what’s been done to his mom and dad, finally finds his courage. He employs his rage for good. His parents have loved him. He cares. And, Alex can’t any longer allow himself or his parents to be under Aunt Gladys’s narcissistic spell. He unleashes the rage of the other children, too. She dies. Her hostages are freed. Sort of.

Narcissistic abusers make you feel terrified of your aggression, thoughts, and feelings. The effects, particularly when the abuse begins in early childhood, can last a lifetime without help.

We see those effects in Alex’s parents and the disappeared children. They’ve been paralyzed by terror. Made to feel something is wrong with them if they make the “wrong move.” They’ve been frozen in place. In a trance. Unable to think for themselves. Incapable of talking. Numb. Rageful (in self-protection). And, now, they don’t speak for a very long time.

If that’s you, healing means standing up to the abuser still living inside. Finding your voice. Employing the useful power of your rage (without losing control). And, speaking your truth.