THE SUBSTANCE: A Sad Gory Story of a Woman’s Self-Hate

Elizabeth Sparkle, an aging yet beautiful actress, hates herself. That’s why The Substance is a sad, gory story of a woman’s self-hate. Self-loathing always stems from early trauma. And, both childhood trauma and self-hate are devastating. You never feel good enough, are vulnerable to feelings of rejection, and do everything you can to prove you’re desired and loved. But, like Elizabeth, when life deals its blows, and you can’t prove your value enough, you believe it’s “about you,” and self-hate spirals out of control. We see this big-time in The Substance. There’s no question that misogyny and narcissistic abuse are inexcusable and damaging. Yet, if you live with self-hate, you too often can’t say “No” and walk away.

Never Feeling Good Enough in The Substance

Elizabeth’s (Demi Moore) downward spiral isn’t because she’s fired from her job as a TV exercise coach, for someone younger. Yes, that is a terrible blow. Yet the worst part is it leaves her terrified she’s no longer wanted.

But she’s never felt good enough. So, being replaced and “discarded” by a crude and cruel man is what we call “a trigger.” He becomes the voice in her head telling her: “You aren’t loved. Someone else is better than you.”

When you’ve been traumatized as a child by never feeling good enough, you try hard to be loved. But even when it seems you are “loved,” you never really believe it. And, often you can’t see love when it’s there.

We watch Elizabeth struggle. Memories of a star on the Walk of Fame. Elizabeth Sparkle. Voices that can’t get enough of her: “Oh, look, it’s Elizabeth Sparkle! I love her. We love you, Elizabeth.”

It’s love outside herself. The only love she allows. From her fans. Elizabeth’s all alone. There’s no one close to her. She can’t let anyone in. Being with people, having friends or lovers, is almost impossible if you hate yourself.

Elizabeth keeps it “safe.” But “safe” has been her viewers. Her fans. The paparazzi that can’t get enough of her. Now she’s lost them. The ones who “loved her” no longer deem her worthy of love – the way she sees herself.

The Problem Isn’t Outside, It’s Inside

Elizabeth Sparkle thinks the solution to her problem (of self-hate, that is) is to be admired from afar. The more fan letters, counting the viewers for her TV spots, her producer’s accolades, the more she believes she’s loved.

Those outside remedies for self-hate are fragile. They fall apart in the face of fickle audiences, producers who care more about their gains no matter what she gives (narcissistic abusers, which Harvey (Dennis Quaid) is.)

You might think the problem is losing that kind of “love,” which isn’t real love. Yet, real love is dangerous since it means being vulnerable and showing your real self. That self that you hate and believe everyone will judge.

That’s what The Substance shows us.

So, the problem that causes Elizabeth’s accident, in her desperation and rage, isn’t that she’s lost her job. It isn’t in the loss of “others’ love,” it’s inside herself. It’s the “Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, am I beautiful?” problem.

It’s the problem of looking in the mirror and seeing the worst version of herself: the not good enough one.

Being A “Better” Version of Yourself

The accident looks serious. Her outside injuries are not. There’s “nothing wrong with her.” On the outside that is. Only on the inside where her self-hate lurks and will tear her down at any chance. Especially if she’s sad.

There’s no place for feelings (normal feelings, human needs) when you hate yourself. You try to escape them. Elizabeth starts to cry. The doctor runs out fast – humiliates her for exposing her vulnerability and pain.

He’s a version of her self-hate and fear. And, feeling humiliated is the worst part of self-hate. She’ll do anything to escape that. The “that” you believe is how you look. Can The Substance fix this?

As the assistant (or, second doctor) says: “You’re a perfect candidate.” For being seduced into “looking better.”

She plugs in the flash drive about The Substance that arrives in the mail: “Have you ever dreamt of a better version of yourself? Younger. More beautiful. More perfect … this is The Substance. It unlocks your DNA …”

Elizabeth, miserable, remembers the paparazzi who loved her, drinks martini after martini, alone. She flings something at an old photo of “the” Elizabeth Sparkle. Hates who she isn’t, now. Calls to order The Substance.

It’s not so simple as “becoming that better version.” She has to look on as Sue (Margaret Qualley), her other self, prettier, younger, sexier, becomes the new Elizabeth Sparkle. Watches in jealousy about who she’s not.

The Substance doesn’t solve the problem of self-hate. Not being able to accept who you are, increases it. You keep seeing who is better, younger, prettier, sexier, more wanted, than you are. That’s all you can see.

You can’t see yourself through someone’s eyes who does (really) admire you.

Pushing Away What Could’ve Been Love

As The Substance unfolds and Elizabeth increasingly deteriorates, the mirror reflects (to her) escalating “ugliness.” That’s because she compares herself to Sue, the “better version of herself,” and hates herself more.

Elizabeth beats herself up with her self-hate. She thought The Substance was the answer, but instead it makes her face her aging, which she cannot accept. She can’t see herself as Fred (Edward Hamilton-Clark) sees her.

Not even close. Fred says: “Lizzie! Fred. From High School? You haven’t changed a bit. Beautiful as ever.” Can she believe him? No. But it’s appealing. Here’s someone who sees her for who she is. In a good-enough way.

In a way her self-hate doesn’t allow her to see. All her self-hate sees is: “Old. Ugly. A Has Been. Unlovable.” She wants that accepting “love” Fred offers. A date. Interest and excitement (mostly from him.) Elizabeth tries.

But, again, what she sees and desires is outside herself. It’s in Fred, not in her. She dresses, looks pretty. But she ends up losing it big time (to her self-hate). The more she looks in the mirror, the more she sees “Not beautiful.”

Elizabeth falls into a frenzy of self-hate. She changes her clothes, to “look better,” but compared to Sue (and her old self) she can’t measure up. And, she’s sure she won’t be “Beautiful as ever” in Fred’s eyes now, either.

Distressed, she smears red lipstick all over her mouth and face. A clown who tries to smile and smile no matter how much pain she’s in. So, Elizabeth stands Fred up. A chance at love averted out of self-hate and fear.

Hating Hunger Will Tear You Apart

Elizabeth felt a hunger for love in a new way. That tore her down. Made her hate herself more. Yet, you can’t stop your hunger forever. The Substance makes it worse. Her hunger takes over destructively.

She cooks huge meals, mostly chicken (is it because she’s so fearful?) Eats obscenely, ravenously, voraciously. Hunger she hasn’t let herself feel. Not her real hunger, though. That isn’t allowed.

Elizabeth rejected Fred because she hates her hunger for love. That’s why she’s alone. Why, her looks outweigh everything else. Why, she tries for a “better version” with The Substance. The pretty, Sue.

She’s scared of aging. Being who she is. Which, in her eyes, isn’t a beautiful older woman. It’s her fantasy that she’s fat, disgusting, old, wrinkled (fast becoming more and more distorted out of envy of Sue).

The “better version” of herself is another reminder of who she isn’t. That’s not what Elizabeth had in mind. She’s in a fight with Sue. Both trying to kill the other off. To take over. Sue’s told: “Pretty girls smile and smile.”

That kind of pretty girl must fake it to be “loved.” No matter what. Do what she’s told. Even if pawed, used, forced to be who others want her to be. That’s not love. Elizabeth wants to stop this. That’s wise.

But to stop the deterioration that self-hate causes, you don’t have to go so far as the over-the-top grotesqueness at the end of The Substance. The fact that the film didn’t stop made it lose its message, for me.

Yet, sometimes, self-hate does go so far as to perceive yourself in the worst possible way. Instead of the love Elizabeth once see when looking at her Star, we now see what looks like a pile of “shit.” That is sad.

The “Beauty Secret?” It’s Self-Love

If The Substance isn’t the remedy for self-hate, what is? It’s not the apparent quick fix that The Substance offers. Getting prettier, or looking younger, doesn’t solve what’s happening inside. We see it decidedly with Elizabeth.

No, the secret to feeling beautiful isn’t as seemingly “easy.” Often it takes help. Professional help. Because the real “beauty secret” is self-love. That’s not straightforward when you live with self-hate – and can’t see yourself.

Self-hate creates a distorted mirror. Usually, that’s because of trauma in childhood when there weren’t mirrors of “good-enough-ness” and being loved. It leaves a hunger for love that feels unthinkable and shameful.

Yet, the true beauty secret for fixing self-hate is learning to accept who you are, which means self-love. It’s not impossible. And, when you get that disfigured, inaccurate (yes, false) mirror out of your mind, you can heal.